Treasure 
Is it right to discuss sex with your children?
“YES“, I WOULD SAY.
Sexual abuse of children is very common nowadays. Sometimes, victims may not even recognize their victimization as sexual abuse.
Studies carried have shown that lots of children are sexually abused before the age of 18. Majority of these children are usually under age 7 and thousands of them die from the injuries. For those who survive, the emotional scars are deeper than the physical scars.
Why is it that very few parents ever mention or discuss sex with their children?
Parents should not be shy or embarrassed to talk about stuff like that. Remember it’s difficult to trick a child who knows what you’re up to. Therefore, it’s your duty as a parent to give your children that information.
Because,
When you don’t tell your children about sex, someone else may tell them something else to deceive them.
Parents should initiate discussions about sexuality even to the younger ones. Identify their private parts with them and use the correct names ( vagina or penis). It’s not a bad or dirty word.
That’s the name!
Teach them it’s wrong to play with it or allow someone touch it. It’s their private part so it’s personal!
Do you know that perpetrators are usually known and trusted caregivers?
Again, studies have shown that 5 out of every 7 sexual assaults of children occured in a residence by their own person(People that the child loves and knows)…..People you trust and can’t suspect.
It could be a cousin, aunt, uncle, step father, father, mother, driver, gateman, baby sitter, lesson teacher, neighbour, clergy etc.
DUTIES OF PARENTS
Parents should tell their children the following:
- To avoid unnecessary movements.
- Avoid evil company.
- Never watch pornographic videos.
- Don’t expose your genital areas.
- Always make sure you’re wearing underwears.
- Sit and dress without exposing your underwear.
- You must not allow anyone touch or insert anything into your sex organ.
- Report once you notice any act of harassment against you.
- Shout out if there’s any sign of rape.
- Don’t keep quiet in fear if the abuser warned you not to say it out. Keeping shut makes him enslave you.
SIGNS THAT SEXUAL ABUSE MIGHT HAVE TAKEN PLACE
Children rarely disclose sexual abuse immediately after the event. Parents should watch out for the following signs to help them discover if something has gone wrong.
There are physical and behavioural signs of abuse.
Here are some of the physical signs:
- Discomfort when walking.
- Pains when sitting down.
- Bruises near genital areas.
- Presence of sperm.
- Pains or itching in the genital area.
- Stomach ache.
- Sexually transmitted diseases.
- Pregnancy.
- Anal injuries or complaints.
- Vaginal or penile discharge.
- Bedwetting or fecal soiling.
Behavioural signs of sexual abuse.
- Having nightmares.
- Flinching when touched or approached.
- Refusing to go to a particular place when sent on errand.
- Always in a closed door whenever a particular individual visits.
- Fear of one person or some persons.
- Suicide attempts.
- Fearful of parents.
- Sexual knowledge which is beyond the child’s developmental level.
- Change in behaviour.
- Unexplained sources of money.
- Poor self-esteem.
- Depression.
- Irritability.
- Social problems.
EFFECTS OF PROLONGED SEXUAL ABUSE IN ADULTHOOD
Most adults who were sexually abused at a younger age behave in an awkward way which they may not be aware of. Some of them try to wish it away but it is embedded deep into their subconscious.
Some results of prolonged sexual abuse in adulthood are:
- Personality disorder.
- Attachment disorder.
- A feeling of worthlessness.
- An abnormal view of sex.
- Tendency to become paedophiles or prostitutes.
START TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT SEX BEFORE THE CHILD MOLESTOR DOES.
Because…..,
Good point. Please, at what age do we need to discuss sex with children
Thanks.
As early as age 2-3,start identifying their sexual organs with them and tell them it belongs to them alone and that’s why it’s called a private part.Let them know it’s very wrong for someone to touch it or play with it.Tell the girls not to sit on a male’s lap.Children are fast learners and like to follow instructions given to them by their parents and teachers.
A 3 year old girl’s private part isn’t supposed to be washed by anyone.Her mom or guardian is expected to have taught her how to do it properly at that age.As they mature,the discussion will progress and go deeper in a manner in which they can understand.